Wildly Inaccurate 2012 NHL Stanley Cup Final Prediction

Pic of the day:  A picture of the Stanley Cup, circa 1957.  Seated with it is former Referee and NHL League President Clarence Campbell

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If I knew the answer to that I’d bet $10,000 on the game and retire from coaching!

Montreal Canadiens Coach Toe Blake, after being asked if his team would win an upcoming game.

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I don’t know everything.  Prognostication is nothing more than using your head and taking guesses with whatever information is available, and listening to your heart.  My head told me the Kings would win, and pretty easily.  My heart told me the Rangers could beat the Devils.

Head 1, Heart 0.

I nailed the Kings winning it in 5.  I picked the Rangers in 6, and I was right as far as how many games but got the team wrong.  I also said that Anze Kopitar would step his game up a notch.  He had only scored three goals in the previous two series.  He scored 5 points against the ‘Yots, and 3 goals.  Nice.  I said the Rangers devils series would be smashmouth hockey, and it was.

The Rangers and the ‘Yots lost for the same reason.  The offenses came up small.  The Rangers had more offense but lost just the same.  They suffered from the disappearance of their entire first line.  The entire line was ineffective out on the ice, the Devils had their number every game.  6 points for the combination of Hagelin – Richards – Gaborik, for the entire series.  The ‘Yots had 3 goals in the first three games of the Conference finals.  Neither team, when placed in that light, deserve to be in the Stanley cup finals.

The Devils outshined the Rangers, outplayed them at every turn, and the Kings continued to dominate the West.

That round is over though.  The Stanley cup finals are here.  New Jersey.  Los Angeles.  The City of Angels have never had a cup to call their own.  This might be 40 year old Marty Broduer’s last shot at the cup.

Who will win?

F*cked if I know!

LET THE INACCURACY BEGIN!

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Stanley Cup Final:  (6) New Jersey Devils vs. (8) Los Angeles Kings;  Looking at the offense, there are a flurry of statistics you could use to determine who has been the best so far. None would be very compelling and most would point to a very even match up. Ilya Kovalchuk has 5 power play goals during the playoffs, more than anyone else by far.  The next closest remaining players are Jeff Carter, Mike Richards, Zach Parise and Patrik Elias with 2 each.

However, Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar are hellaciously talented players who can find the back of the net frequently.  Same with Zach Parise and Ilya Kovalchuk.   The top five players in plus-minus in the playoffs are on these two teams, three on the Kings (Brown, Kopitar, Doughty) and 2 on the Devils (Salvador, Henrique)  If the goaltending doesn’t hold up, there may well be a lot of 6-5 games in this series.

But with the goaltenders in question, I severely doubt that will happen.

Jonathan Quick has been the best playoff goalie I have seen this year, and the best in a long time. That is saying something too, there have been some amazing goal-tending the last few years in the playoffs.  Mr. Quick has given up only 22 goals in 14 games and lost only twice.  Martin Brodeur has played more games than Mr. Quick played more minutes, faced more shots and still, at times looked like the man he was over a decade ago.  The man who brought 3 championships to the Devils organization.   Mr. Quick has faced more shots per game than Marty has, and has a lower GAA average to boot though.   So if this series turns on goaltending, then the advantage, however slight, must go to the Kings and Mr. Quick. And frankly I think this series does in fact turn on goal-tending…. aaaand some timely scoring by Mike Richards and Anze Kopitar.  So…

The pick:  The Kings in 6.

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That’s it from here, America.  Catch ya later.  More tonight, methinks.

Wildly Inaccurate 2012 NHL Conference Final Playoff Predictions

Pic of the day:  First Stanley cup.  A pic of the Montreal Hockey club  after winning the first ever Stanley cup in 1893.

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Now, before I get to my picks I have to make a statement.  It was a complete and total aberration that I picked all four winners for the second round.  Shocked the hell out of me.  I do not think that in the last 5 years I have been quite that successful with my picks.  In any sport.  My best pick before this was nailing the score of the Steelers – Cardinals Superbowl.  And that was overshadowed by the fact that I picked the Cardinals to lose in every round.

No such shadow over last rounds amazing success.   Well… actually there is.  But I don’t know that I can be blamed for them.  I don’t think anyone would have picked the Blues to get swept, and I had them losing in 6.  And frankly I am disappointed with the Predators. I had them putting up a helluva better fight in that series than what they actually did, and while I had them losing I had them losing in 7, and they were lucky to make it to 5 games.

I had the Devils in 6 (Devils won in 5) and the Rangers in 7(nailed it,) so there I was closer than I was with the western conference picks.

Well, knowing me, the accuracy of the picks of the last round were pure luck.  I’m not expecting that to continue, so with out further adieu,

ON WITH THE INACCURACY!

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Eastern Conference Finals1)  New York Rangers vs.  6) New Jersey Devils;  Smashmouth hockey.  Get used to the term.  These teams know each other, and they don’t like each other.  The first two rounds for the Rangers have been tough hard fought battles, but they will seem minor skirmishes in comparison into the bloody mosh pit that these games are going to be.  And the Devils are walking in rested and ready.

Now the Rangers have suffered from a dearth of scoring, but that is more a product of the team defenses they faced, and superlative goalies they’ve faced than an actual lack of capacity to score.  When they find open ice they score and they win. Example:  Michael Del Zotto’s game 7 game winner against the Caps.  He was free for a few seconds, and he sent the Caps home because of it

The Devils have had more scoring than the Rangers all postseason.  The Devils never scored less than 3 goals in any game against the Flyers, and only twice scored less than 2 goals since the playoffs began. The Rangers only scored more than 3 goals 4 times in both rounds they’ve played, 2 in each round.

The Rangers have shown great resiliency in the face of extraordinarily stifling defense while bringing their own.  The Devils haven’t had to.  The Devils will need to show they can overcome strong defense, which they have yet to face.  I don’t see them doing it, and I see the Rangers opening up their offense here just a bit. Rangers in 6.

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Western Conference Finals3) Phoenix Coyotes vs 8 ) Los Angeles Kings;  Both of these teams have had strong scoring, and both of these teams have had outstanding goal-tending.  Mike Smith, a man who cut his teeth in the NHL backing up Marty Turco in Dallas a few years ago has more than come out of Marty’s shadow and shown himself to be a force in net to be reckoned with.  A 1.77 GAA and a .950 save percentage is as close to perfect as a goalie can get.

Jonathan Quick has matched him and more, as far as his numbers are concerned, with a minisculce 1.55 GAA and an identical .950 save percentage, and has only lost once, and no one has been more successful in net than J. Quick that way.

The offenses here are going to be hard pressed to score with those stone walls out there in net.  Here I think I see one team that has an advantage.  And that is the Kings.  Anze Kopitar, who is a great player who has not yet shined in these playoffs(only 3 goals,) will step it up a notch here.  Justin Williams and Mike Richards are a hellacious tandem that have scored and played well together.

The ‘Yots do have scoring on their team as well, they didn’t get here just with goal-tending, but I do not know that it will be enough to get past the steamroller than is the L.A. Kings.  Kings In 5.

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And is it me, or does Brian Boyle of the New York Rangers look exactly like a Guy Fawkes mask?  Just saying…

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.

WILDLY INACCURATE Week 7 NFL Picks

Let’s see, I was actually only half bad with my picks last week, but that isn’t a surprise, my average for the year is at about .500 for the year, so last weeks 7-6 ATS is about par for the course.

I won with the Niners, Packers, Bills(who lost but covered, I had them winning but ATS I nailed it,) Eagles, Raiders, Bears and Jets.  I lost on the Panthers, Colts, Steelers, Texans, Patriots, and Saints.

So with that out of the way, let’s take a look at this weeks inaccuracy!

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Seahawks @ Browns:  Browns are 3 point favorites, and the O/U is 41.  I have no faith in the Seahawks here.   I have no faith in the Browns either, to be honest, but they at least have… well… Peyton Hillis, who was a workhorse last year, is hurt and looks like he won’t play, and they really have no other standout players on offense, so…. Take the Seahawks and the under.  Final score:  “Hawks 21, Browns 15

Falcons @Lions:  The Lions are 3½ point favorites, and the O/U is 47 points.   Even though they lost to the Niners last week, the Lions are still one of the best teams in the NFC right now.  The Falcons are a good team, but nowhere near the juggernaut that people were expecting at the beginning of the year, but not for lack of a running game, which averages over 110 yards per game on the ground.  They’ll use that to good effect against the Lions, who will have another tough one on their hands, but you can take the Falcons and the under.  Final score:  Lions 28, Falcons 27

Texas @ Titans:  The Titans are 3 point favorites, and the O/U is 44 points.  I just don’t know about the Titans right now.  They have beaten lesser teams, sure, but when pressed by the Steelers before their bye week, they just flat out sucked.  After being hammered early, they tried to fight back but to no avail.  The Texans are a good team, not a great team, trying to prove they are better than some people think they are.  I think they can do this.  Take the Texans and the under.  Final score:  Texans 24, Titans 17.

Broncos @ Dolphins:  Dolphins are 2 point favorites,  the O/U is 41½.  The Dolphins suck out loud. That simple.  Take the Broncos and the over.  Broncos 27,  Dolphins 21.

Chargers @ Jets:  The Chargers are 2 point favorites, the O/U is 43½ points.  The Jets are not a great team by any stretch of the imagination, their run game is less than ferocious, and Mark Sanchez looks lost under center.  The Chargers are just an all around better team.  Take the Chargers and the over.  Final score:  Chargers 31, Jets 13.

Bears @ Buccaneers:  The Bears are 1 point favorites, the O/U is 43½ points.  Both teams come off of  important wins last week. The Buccaneers played a very good Saints team and beat them, while the Bears won going away against the lowly Vikings, winning a divisional game they needed to win in order to stay in the hunt for a spot in the postseason.  I think the Bears, despite not having a better record, are the better team here, at least this week.  Take the Bears and the over.  Final score:  Bears 30, Bucs 24.

Panthers @ Redskins:  The Panthers are a 2½ point favorite, the O/U is 43½.  The Panthers offense will  expose the Redskins as being a very sub par on the defensive end,  the Redskins have no answer to Cam Newton that can contain him.  Take the Panthers and the over.  Final score:  Panthers 34, Redskins 18.

Chiefs @ Raiders:  The Raiders are 4½ point favorites, the O/U is 41.  Srsly?  This Chiefs team needs help, but they’ll not get any real help here.  The Chiefs suck.  Take the Raiders and the under. Final score:  Raiders  27, Chiefs 6.

Steelers @ Cardinals:  The Steelers are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 44 points.  The Steelers have been beating the teams they are better than, and that trend should continue today. But this one could turn into a letdown game for them, with the Pats and Ravens both looming on the schedule the next two weeks.  I expect that if there is an real straight up dog to pick, it’s here.  Take the Cards and the under.  Final score:  Cardinals 24, Steelers 17.

Cowboys @ Rams:  The Cowboys are 13 point favorites, and the O/U is 43 points.  Srsly? part II.  This rams team has nothing, Bradford is hurt, and that’ll be enough to doom an already beaten team today. Cowboys romp.  Take the ‘Boys and the under.  Final score:  Cowboys 35, Rams 14.

Packers @ Vikings:  The Packers are 9 point favorites, the O/U is 47.  The Vikings may yet make some noise this season, now that Christian Ponder has been named the starting QB for them, great news for Vikes fans.  The Bad news?  He’s gonna get shellacked by the Pack, as a welcome by the NFL for his first career start.  Packers win easy here.  Take the Packers and the over.  Final score:  Packers 42, Vikings 27

Colts @ Saints:  The Saints are 14 point favorites, the O/U is 49½ points.  The Colts… what can you say? The whole world knows how important Peyton Manning is to this Colts team, and only now realize how strong his team has been around him.  Sad they couldn’t keep that up when Peyton went to get that surgery on his neck.  Take the Saints and the under.  Final score:  Saints 34, Colts 14.

Ravens @ Jaguars.  The Ravens are 8 point favorites, the O/U  is 40 points.  The Jags just have no offense at all.  Add to that the fat that they are playing one of the strongest defensive teams in the league, and what do you get?  A Shutout!  Ravens should be able to walk all over the Jags today.  Take the Ravens and the over.  Final score:  Ravens 37, Jaguars 0.

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That’s about it from here, America.  G’night.

WILDLY INACCURATE Week 5 NFL Picks

9-7? Again? It seems that I, like clockwork, do moderately average on my picks. A few dead on, a few so-so, and one or two really really bad.  Not that I mind being really really bad with my picks, the title of my pick section would be truly meaningless with out at least a few fuck-ups, right?

Right?

Before I go over this weeks picks lemme tell ya how I did last week in a little more detail.

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I picked the Bears and the under against the Panthers, Bears and the over was the correct pick.

I went with the Bills and the over against the Bengals, Bengals and the under was the right pick.

I picked the Titans and the under against the Browns, Titans and the over was the right pick.

I took the Lions and the over against the Cowboys, Lions and the over was in fact correct.  Nice.

I picked the Vikings and the under against the Chiefs, Chiefs and the under was right.

I picked the Redskins and the under vs. the Rams, Skins and the under was right.

I picked the Niners and the over against the Eagles, Niners and the over was correct.

I picked the Saints and the over against the Jaguars, Saints and the under hit this game.

I took the Steelers and the over vs. the Texans, Pittsburgh never showed up, Texans and the under was the pick.

I went with the Giants and the under, Giants and the over was the winner.

I picked the Falcons and the under against the Seahawks, ‘Hawks and the over was the pick.

In the worst pick of the week, I took the Broncos and the under vs. the Packers.  The Pack slaughtered’em.  Pack and the over was the pick.

In the second worst pick of the week, I took the Raiders and the over against the Pats. DUH.  Pats and the under (the O/U was 55) was the gimme pick here.

I picked the Chargers and the under vs. the Dolphins, Chargers and the under was in fact the pick.

In my best pick of the week, I took the Ravens and the over against the Jets.  Ravens pounded them into the dirt.  Ravens and the over was the winner here.

I took the Colts and the over vs. The Buccaneers, Colts and the under was the right one here.

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Eagles @ Bills.  Just because the Bills overlooked the Bengals last week does not mean they’ll do the same with the Eagles.  Philly’s the 2½ point fav on the road, and the O/U is 49½.  Take the Bills and the over.  Bills 31, Eagles 24.

Chiefs @ Colts.  Someone has to win, right?  Not necessarily.  Who loses? Who cares!  Colts are 2½ point favs at home and the O/U is 38½.  Take the Chiefs and the under.  Chiefs 17, Colts 15.

Cardinals @ Vikings.  Heard someone say something about using the Backup qb in Minne.  I thought they already were.  The Vikings are 2½ point favorites, and the O/U is 45.  Take the Cards and the under.  Cards 31, Vikes 3.

Seahawks @Giants.  Eli seems to have gotten better at throwing the ball to his own teammates.  I’m not convinced it’ll stay that way, I’ve seen him fuck up too many times to begin trusting him just yet.  Giants are 10 point favs, the O/U is 43.  Take the ‘Hawks and the over.  Giants 27, ‘Hawks 24.

Steelers @ Titans.  Fuck the Steelers looked like hell last week.  I could’ve gotten a few first downs against them last week.  They’ll come out steaming mad this week.  Might not do them much good.  Mad is nice, but it doesn’t always work.  Steelers are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 40.  Take the Titans and the under.  Titans 21, Steelers 14.

Saints @ Panthers.  Panthers ain’t too bad, but they aren’t good enough either.  Without the Newton to Smith combo, this team would not win a game all year. Hell, they may have won all the games they are gonna this year.  Saints are 6 point favorites here, the O/U is 52.  Take the Saints and the over.  Saints 41, Panthers 17.

Bengals @ Jaguars.  Are the Bengals a serious contender?  SURE! They’re contending for the most mediocre .500 team in the NFL.  They’ll get off of that this week, and become the most mediocre 3-2 team in the league.  The Jags are 2½ point favs at home.  The O/U is 37.  Take the Bengals and the over.  Bengals 27, Jaguars 14.

Raiders @ Texans.  Texans ran like crazy last week.  Steelers tried to run on them, and failed.  The Raiders have a much better run game than do the Steelers though.  They’ll succeed where the Steelers failed.  Texans’ll miss Andre Johnson as well, and Foster can’t run every down.    Texans are 6 point faves here, and the O/U is 48½.  Take the Raiders and the under.  Raiders 27, Texans 24.

Buccaneers @ Niners.  Freeman is not the same QB he was last year for the Bucs.  Not by a long shot.  Unfortunately for the Niners, Alex Smith IS the same QB he was last year for the Niners.  Still a bad Alex Smith is slightly better than a horrible Josh Freeman.  Niners are 3 point favorites, and the O/U is 41.  Take the Niners and the under.  Niners 21, Bucs 17.

Chargers @ Broncos.  Feh.  Feh to the whole Broncos team, I say.  Bring back Elway.  The Chargers are 4 point road faves here, and the O/U is 46½.  Take the Chargers and the under.  Chargers 27, Broncos 12.

Patriots @ Jets.  Mark Sanchez has tire tracks on his back after the Ravens ran him over last week. He’s still shell shocked.  Pats in a romp.  The Pats are 9.5 point favorites, and the O/U is 49½ points.  Take the Pats and the over.  Patriots 42, Jets 17.

Packers @ Falcons. The Falcons are disappointing this year. Suck is a word that comes to mind.  Not making the playoffs is a group of words that comes to mind about them.  The Pack have the best offense in the league not led by a guy named Brady, and may be headed for best O in the league, period.  The Packers are 5½ point faves, the O/U is 53.  Take the Packers and the over.  Packers 38, Falcons 24.

Bears@ Lions.  Lions 4-0? How the hell did that happen?  I’ll tell ya.  A very talented offense that has finally taken root after years of frustration, and of course a boy named Suh on defense.  The Bears aren’t slouches by any stretch of the imagination, and the Lions have had to pull wins out of their asses after being down big at the half the last 2 weeks.  Won’t happen a 3rd time.  The Lions are 6 point favorites, and the O/U is 48.  Take the Lions and the over.  Lions 37, Bears 30.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.

WILDLY INACCURATE Week 4 NFL Picks

In an effort to streamline the process of writing my picks, I have decided to break this thing into two separate pieces.  The first part, this here part, I will toss all the crap, all the talk, the rhetoric, the smack talk that I toss at teams and games and players.  The second half, the bottom half will be my actual picks.   Why am I doing this?

Picks for the weeks shouldn’t take 1,500 words worth of space and take 3 hours to put together.  That’s a bunch of shit.

ON WITH THE INACCURACY.

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Did anyone see the bizarro world QB play last week?   Brady threw 4 INT’s and lost, and Eli Manning didn’t throw any, and he beat the Eagles in Philly!  It was friggin unbelievable! And great for everyone… except for my wife, the Pats fan.

I didn’t gloat, I’m a good husband.  🙂

The Panthers are a decent team.  Ain’t that nice. Decent teams don’t do great things, and beating the bears would be a great thing for the Panthers.  It isn’t happening.

The Bengals were all sorts of pathetic last week, and they are going to come out hell bent to not play that bad two weeks in a row, but that doesn’t mean they have a chance of winning.  The Bills are if not the best team in the AFC they are one of the best. No way the Bengals have a chance here, even if the Bills suffer a letdown, they’re better than the Bengals.

The Lions have had a very good defense most of the year, except the first half of last weeks game against the Vikes.  I expect them to continue the strong defensive play, but the Cowboys will play well enough to score a few TD’s on them.  Won’t be enough to beat’em though.

Is anyone else not impressed with the Bucs this year?  2-1 by the grace of J.R. “Bob” Dobbs and the amazing mediocrity of the teams they’ve played so far.  Their QB Freeman has been less than great, and the Bucs run game has not lived up to expectations.

The Colts are not as bad you’d think… if you don’t think about football much.  If you do, then they suck.  The O has gotten  somewhat better, going from absolutely fucking miserable to merely sub par over the last few weeks.  The D played better last week, but that’s no guarantee they’ve turned it around.

The Jets are a better team than the one that played the Raiders last week.  But not by much. The Raiders played a great game, and beat a better team.

How do the Eagles get to be 8½ point favorites over anyone?  Explain that to me.

Are the Jaguars a professional football team?  Their offense is weaker than some division 3 college teams.  29 points in 3 games.  Poor fellas.

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Panthers @ Bears:  Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.  The Bears are 6.5 point favorites, the O/U is  42½ points.  My pick: Take the Bears and the under.  Final score:  Bears 21, Panthers 14.

Bills @ Bengals:  Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS.  The  Bills are 3 point favorites, the O/U is 43½ points.  My pick:  Take the Bills and the over.  Final score:  Bills 34, Bengals 21.

Titans @ Browns:  Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS.  The Browns are 1½ point favorites, the O/U is 39 points.   My pick:  Take the Titans and the under.  Final score:  Titans 20, Browns 13.

Lions @ Cowboys:   Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.   The Cowboys are 1½ point favorites, the O/U is 46 points.   My pick: Take the Lions and the over.  Final score:  Lions 34, Cowboys 27

Vikings @ Chiefs:  Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.   The Vikings are 1½ point favorites, the O/U is 39½ points. My Pick: Take the Vikings and the under.  Final score:  Vikings 17, Chiefs 12.

Redskins @ Rams:  Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.  The Redskins are 1½ point favorites, the O/U is 43½ points.  My pick:  Take the Redskins and the under.  Final score:  Redskins 24, Rams 17.

Niners @ Eagles:  Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.  The Eagles are 8½ point favorites, the O/U is 44 points.  My pick:  Take the Niners and the over.  Final score:  Eagles 27, Niners 24.

Saints @ Jaguars:  Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.  The Saints are 7 point favorites, the O/U is 45½ points.  My pick:  Take the Saints and the over.  Final score:  Saints 37, Jaguars 14

Steelers @ Texans:  Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS.  The Texans are 4 point favorites, the O/U is 45 points.  My pick:  Take the Steelers and the over.  Final score:  Texans 27, Steelers 24.

Giants @ Cardinals:  Sunday 4:05 pm on FOX.  The Giants are 1½ point favorites, the O/U is 44½ points.  My pick: Take the Giants and the under.  Final score:  Giants 27, Cardinals 15.

Falcons @ Seahawks:  Sunday 4:05 pm on FOX.  The Falcons are 4½ point favorites, the O/U is 38½ points. My pick:  Falcons and the under.  Final score:  Falcons 24, Seahawks 12.

Broncos @ Packers:  Sunday 4:15 pm on CBS.  The Packers are 12½ point favorites, the O/U is 46 points.  My pick: Take the Broncos and the under.  Final score:  Packers 27, Broncos 17.

Patriots @ Raiders:  Sunday 4:15 pm on CBS.  The Patriots are 4½ point favorites, the O/U is 55 points.  My pick: Take the Raiders and the over.  Final score:  Patriots 38, Raiders 34.

Dolphins @ Chargers:  Sunday 4:15 pm on CBS.  The Chargers are 7 point favorites, the O/U is 44½ points.  My pick:  Take the Chargers and the under.  Final score: Chargers 24, Dolphins 14.

Jets @ Ravens:  Sunday 8:20 pm on NBC.  The Ravens are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 42 points.  My pick:  Take the Ravens and the over.  Final score:  Ravens 27, Jets 22.

Colts @ Buccaneers:  Monday 8:30 pm on ESPN.  The Buccaneers are 10 point favorites, the O/U is 40½ points.  Take the Colts and the over.  Final score:  Bucs 27, Colts 21.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.

Week 3 WILDLY INACCURATE Pick Results

I had to look at my picks several times.  I had really thought that I had been truly bad.  I mean really truly bad, as in I might have gotten 2 or 3 of my picks right.  Then I looked at the calendar and heaved a sigh of relief.  I usually wait to be REALLY shitty with my picks until October, it being late September, I was pretty safe.  Still.  I mangled it pretty badly this week.  7-9 isn’t great by any stretch of the imagination.  If you read my picks, I picked 3 dogs.  3.  Do you know how many dogs hit last week?

10. 

10, and 5 of those were straight up wins.  Bills, Niners, Giants, Raiders and Seahawks.  OK, there was no spread on the Giants game, but on my ledger the Eagles were favored straight up over the Giants.

The Bills are for real.  They pressured Brady, made him cough up the ball like he Eli Manning on a  bad day.  4 int’s by Brady.  He’s lucky he has Welker to pull his bacon out of the fire or the Bills would have toasted the Pats by 20.

And Eli!  Where ya been?  Nice to see the guy who signed the 87 bazilllion dollar contract show up once in a while.  No int’s, 4 td’s with a banged up receiver core.  Nice!  BTW, that kid Victor Cruz has the hands to get the job done at wide out.  He’s gonna see the ball a lot more, or he should, if Eli and Coughlin have any brains in their heads.

I was on twitter sunday, talking crap with some football fans, made some snide smart ass comment to a dude talking about the Bengals sucking, And I start saying you think they’ve got it bad, the Panthers are on their way to 0-16 and added something about the Browns, and hey buddy, aren’t the Bengals leading at this point?  Something like that.  Then the Panthers and the Browns won, and the Bengals, in the midst of a truly horrible game, lost a game no one wanted to win.

That shut me the hell up. Damn you to hell, Chuck Todd!!  Go cover occupy wall street and leave the football commentary to the amateurs like me, K?

On to the review of the WILDLY INACCURATE Picks from week 3

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Patriots @ Bills: The Pats were 8½ point favorites, the O/U was 53½ points.  My pick:  Take the Pats and the Over.  Final score:  Patriots 42, Bills 31.  Actual score:  Bills 34, Patriots 31. The Bills and the over was the correct pick.  Win on O/U/ Lose against the spread.

49ers @ Bengals:  The Bengals were 2½ point favorites, the O/U was 40½ points.   My Pick: Take the Bengals and the over.  Final score:  Bengals 27, Niners 20. Actual score:   49ers 13, Bengals 8.  49ers and the under was the correct pick.  Lose/Lose.

Dolphins @ Browns:  The Browns were 2½ point favorites, the O/U was 41 points. My pick: Take the Dolphins and the under.  Final score:  Dolphins 24, Browns 14. Actual score:  Browns 17, Dolphins 16.  Dolphins and the under was the correct pick. Win/Win.

Broncos @ Titans: The Titans were 7 point favorites, the O/U was 42 points. My pick: Take the Titans and the over. Final score:  Titans 30, Broncos 17.  Actual score: Titans 17, Broncos 14.  Broncos and the under was the correct pick.  Lose/ Lose.

Lions @ Vikings: The Lions were 3½ point favorites, the O/U was 45 points.  My pick: Take the Lions and the over.  Final score: Lions 35, Vikings 21.  Actual score: Lions 26, Vikings 23.  Vikings and the over was the correct pick.  Win/Lose

Texans @Saints:  The Saints were 4 point favorites, the O/U was 53 points. My pick: Take the Saints and the over.  Final score:  Saints 38, Texans 24.  Actual score: Saints 40, Texans 33.  Saints and the over was the correct pick.  Win /Win.

Giants @ Eagles: There was no line or O/U as of this writing for this game, due to the injury to Michael Vick. My pick: Eagles win.  Final score:  Eagles 21, Giants 15.  Actual score:  Giants 29, Eagles 16.  No O/U.  Giants was the correct pick.  Lose(if it’s not a win, it’s a loss)/Lose.

Jaguars @ Panthers:  The Panthers are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 43 points.  My pick: Take the Panthers and the under.  Final score:  Panthers 27, Jaguars 14.  Actual score: Panthers 16, Jaguars 10.  Panthers and the under was the correct pick.  Win/Win.

Jets @ Raiders: The Jets were 3½ point favorites, the O/U was 41 points. My pick: Take the Jets and the under.  Final score:  Jets 21, Raiders 17. Actual score:  Raiders 34, Jets 24.  Raiders and the over was the correct pick.  Lose/Lose.

Ravens @ Rams: The Ravens were 4 point favorites, the O/U was 42 points. My pick: Take the Ravens and the under.  Final score:  Ravens 17, Rams 10.  Actual score:  Ravens 37, Rams 7.  Ravens and the over was the correct pick.  Lose/ Win.

Chiefs @Chargers: The Chargers were 14½ point favorites, the O/U was 45 points.  My pick: Take the Chargers and the over.  Chargers 42, Chiefs 12.  Actual score:  Chargers 20, Chiefs 17.  Chiefs and the under was the correct pick.  Lose/Lose.

Packers @ Bears: The Packers were 3½ point favorites, the O/U was 45½ points. My pick: Take the Packers and the under.  Final score:  Packers 24, Bears 20.  Actual score:  Packers 27, Bears 17.  Packers and the under was the correct pick.  Win/Win.

Cardinals @ Seahawks: The Cardinals were 3 point favorites, the O/U was 43 points. My pick: Take the Cardinals and the under.  Final score:  Cardinals 21, Seahawks 9.  Actual score:  Seahawks 13, Cardinals 10.  Seahawks and the under was the correct pick.  Win/Lose.

Falcons @Buccaneers: The Falcons were 1½ point favorites, the O/U was 45½ points.  My pick: Take the Falcons and the over.  Final score:  Falcons 34, Bucs 21. Actual score:  Bucs 16, Falcons 13.  Bucs and the under was the correct pick.  Lose/Lose.

Steelers @ Colts: The Steelers were 10½ point favorites, the O/U was 39½ points.   My pick: Take the Colts and the under.  Finals score:  Steelers 21,  Colts 14.  Actual score: Steelers 23, Colts 20.   Colts and the over was the correct pick.  Lose/Win.

Redskins @ Cowboys: There is no line or O/U as of this writing for this game, due to the questionable status of Tony Romo.  My pick:  Cowboys win Final score:  Cowboys  27, Redskins 21.   Actual score: Cowboys 18, Redskins 16.   Cowboys was the correct pick.  Lose/Win.

7-9 on the O/U, 7-9 ATS for week 3.   Not bad, not great.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night

WILDLY INACCURATE Week 3 NFL Picks

Maybe I should call these picks the REMARKABLY AVERAGE picks instead of the WILDLY INACCURATE picks.  8-8 against the spread week two, after going 7-8 (no pick on the Thursday game) ATS week one isn’t great, but it isn’t what I’d call WILDLY inaccurate.  But then again it isn’t accurate, and some of my picks have been REMARKABLY wrong, particularly when the Chiefs and Ravens have been involved.

I’ll try to spread the wildness and inaccuracy around this week, K?

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Patriots @ Bills: Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS.  The Pats are 8½ point favorites, the O/U is 53½ points.  The Pats will once again roll, and for the second time this year against a division foe on the road.  The Bills aren’t pushovers by any stretch of the imagination, but until the Pats run into a D that knows how to HIT THE QUARTERBACK, the Pats will continue their dominance.

Take the Pats and the Over.  Final score:  Patriots 42, Bills 31.

49ers @ Bengals:  Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX. The Bengals are 2½ point favorites, the O/U is 40½ points.  The Niners lost a tough one to the ‘Boys at home last week.  The Bengals lost a tough one on the road in Denver last week.  Cedric Benson will  run for over 100 yards and a touch, and the Dalton/Green combo in Cincinnati will make a few key connections and walk away with the win against the sluggish Niners in Cincy.

Take the Bengals and the over.  Final score:  Bengals 27, Niners 20.

Dolphins @ Browns:  Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS. The Browns are 2½ point favorites, the O/U is 41 points. I don’t care that the Browns beat the Colts last week, they are just not a very good team.  The Dolphins were good on offense in defeat week one, but were less than spectacular last week. Despite the inconsistency, the Fins will get their first running back TD on the ground this week and they’ll take care of the Browns.

Take the Dolphins and the under.  Final score:  Dolphins 24, Browns 14.

Broncos @ Titans: Sunday 1: 00 pm on CBS.  The Titans are 7 point favorites, the O/U is 42 points.  This Titans team has simply not had it as far as their running game is concerned.  But they have made up for it with a very strong air attack thanks to Matt Hasselback, and the O-line in Tennessee didn’t let the opposing D get a single sack last week versus the potent Ravens D.  That O is going to flatten the Broncos.

Take the Titans and the over. Final score:  Titans 30, Broncos 17.

Lions @ Vikings: Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX. The Lions are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 45 points. The Lions have the most points of any NFC team.  The Lions have given up the least points of any team in the NFC.  Yes, this week they run into a division foe.  Yes, that division foe has one of the best running backs in the game, Adrian Peterson.  No, that does not make a difference.

Take the Lions and the over.  Final score: Lions 35, Vikings 21.

Texans @Saints: Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS.  The Saints are 4 point favorites, the O/U is 53 points. The Texans Ben Tate has played great starting at RB for the injured Arian Foster.  Andre Johnson is his usual self, giving Matt Schaub the target he needs to win.  Too bad he’s running into Drew Brees, hands down the best QB in the NFL not named Tom.

Take the Saints and the over.  Final score:  Saints 38, Texans 24.

Giants @ Eagles: Sunday 1:00 pm on FOX.  There is no line or O/U as of this writing for this game, due to the injury to Michael Vick. Doesn’t make a difference who the Giants play, they look like a team in need of large amounts of help from someone.  The run game should do well against this Eagles D, but Eli is a mess, the WR’s are banged up, and the Giants defensive backfield is a joke.  Giants will keep it close.  Close but no Cigar.

Eagles win(if/when spread and o/u info shows I will add it here.)  Final score:  Eagles 21, Giants 15.

Jaguars @ Panthers: Sunday 1:00 pm on CBS.  The Panthers are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 43 points.  Cam Newton has been a revelation, thrown for over 850 yards, run for 2 td’s, and kept it close against a strong Packers team.  The Jags are on their 3rd QB since the last week of the preseason.  Jack Del Rio should feel blessed if he makes it out of this week with a job.  Gabbert won’t get the job done, but at this point, no one can get the job done for the Jags.

Take the Panthers and the under.  Final score:  Panthers 27, Jaguars 14.

Jets @ Raiders: Sunday 4:05 pm on CBS.  The Jets are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 41 points.  Raiders are a decent team, they’ve played well, lost a tough one last week against a surging Bills team.  The Jets walked all over a clearly inferior Jags team last week.  Jets will find more interference this week.  The Raiders will run the ball well on this Jets team, and keep it close.

Take the Jets and the under.  Final score:  Jets 21, Raiders 17.

Ravens @ Rams: Sunday 4:05 pm on CBS.  The Ravens are 4 point favorites, the O/U is 42 points. Ravens had a let down last week after the drubbing they hit the Steelers with week one.  The Rams are less than great.  Spectacularly average is a term that comes to mind.  Spectacularly average won’t beat the Ravens.  Look for the Ravens to bounce back with a strong game from Ray Rice.

Take the Ravens and the under.  Final score:  Ravens 17, Rams 10.

Chiefs @Chargers: Sunday 4:05 pm on CBS.  The Chargers are 14½ point favorites, the O/U is 45 points. The Chiefs suck, and it doesn’t help that they lost Jamaal Charles for the year with an ACL tear.  They have NO real strength on offense, and none seems forthcoming.  Chargers are strong on O, and the Chiefs have bupkis for defense.  Chargers romp and stomp all over the chiefs.

Take the Chargers and the over.  Chargers 42, Chiefs 12.

Packers @ Bears: Sunday 4:15 pm on FOX.  The Packers are 3½ point favorites, the O/U is 45½ points. The Bears got stomped last week.  Cutler got his ass handed to him by the Saints.  Cutler isn’t the catalyst on offense in Chicago, Matt Forte is.  He should have decent numbers against the Pack, but those numbers won’t be enough.

Take the Packers and the under.  Final score:  Packers 24, Bears 20.

Cardinals @ Seahawks: Sunday 4:15 pm on FOX.  The Cardinals are 3 point favorites, the O/U is 43 points.  The Seahawks have no run game.  None, and at the beginning of the year the passing attack was the big question mark.  And it still is, Tavaris Jackson is just playing very sub par football.  All the Cardinals have to do to win is show up with their uniforms.

Take the Cardinals and the under.  Final score:  Cardinals 21, Seahawks 9.

Falcons @Buccaneers: Sunday 4:15 pm on FOX.  The Falcons are 1½ point favorites, the O/U is 45½ points. Tampa has, like the ‘hawks, had a less than spectacular run game.  The Falcons on the other hand have Michael Turner, who was been pretty damn good even when they lost to the Bears week 1.  And the Matt Ryan – Tony Gonzalez connection has been golden for the Falcons.  Expect that to continue.

Take the Falcons and the over.  Final score:  Falcons 34, Bucs 21.

Steelers @ Colts: Sunday 8:20 pm on NBC.  The Steelers are 10½ point favorites, the O/U is 39½ points.  Colts suck.  Steelers do not.  That simple.  That doesn’t mean that the Colts will just roll over.  They’ll try to play, they’ll try to keep up.  They’ll even score a few points.  It won’t be enough. They’ll cover though.

Take the Colts and the under.  Finals score:  Steelers 21,  Colts 14.

Redskins @ Cowboys: Monday 8:30 pm on ESPN. There is no line or O/U as of this writing for this game, due to the questionable status of Tony Romo.  Tony is one tough S.O.B., and he proved that by playing with a broken rib and a punctured lung last week and leading his team to a win.  That kind fo play should inspire some very strong play from an already strong Cowboys team.  The Skins are a mediocre team.

Cowboys win(if/when spread and o/u info shows I will add it here.) Final score:  Cowboys  27, Redskins 21.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.