2013 Irrelevant Resolutions

The year 2012 had it’s ups and downs.  There was not nearly not enough work for me, making it hard to pay the bills.  The Yankees did not win the world series.  Again.  Dick Cheney did not spontaneously burst into flames for the 71st year in a row.  My older cat learned to shit in the hallway. A lot.  The Mayans, as usual, were wrong and the world did not dissolve into nothingness and humanity didn’t come to an end.

Don’t ya hate when that happens?  Me too.

There were good things though.  Mitt Romney tried to anally rape the average American by trying to buy the election, but fortunately for us, the body politic has ways of shutting that whole thing down.  Eli Manning and Co. won their second super bowl.  I kept the Christmas lights up most of the year.

Frankly even with the good stuff that happened, I’m glad to see the end of 2012.

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Which brings me to the 4th annual festival of WTF, that bastion of bullshit, that cavalcade of crap, the 2013 Irrelevant resolutions!

If any of this mostly silly, and only occasionally serious crap strikes your fancy, by all means take it with you and call it your own!

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Resolution #1: Get large sums of money.  Note I used the word get and not make. No one has ever, and from past experience I know no one will ever800px-PostcardHappyNewYearOldManKidScytheHourglass1910 pay me large sums of money. It would be nice if I could earn enough money to be able to keep myself and my wife from having to sweat the end of the month showing up.  Winning the lottery would be nice, but I figure that only family members of the people who run the lottery ever win those damn things, so ‘l have to do it the old fashioned way and rob some fat rich fuck and run like hell.

Resolution #2:  Get a permanent job.  I have been temping and freelancing for the better part of four years and frankly I’m sick to death of it. I want to know who I have to have sex with to get a job, what do I have to do them with?  No one has answered this vitally important question for me, and it’s beginning to piss me off.

Resolution #3:  Write a book.  I said I was going to do this one last year, and never did.  Not for lack of trying.  I have thousands of words that form a cogent and coherent story on a computer in this very room.  Unfortunately that computer turned into a brick on me, damn thing stopped working the week of Thanksgiving, so I can’t do a damn thing with any of those 38,000+ words.  Maybe the old computer couldn’t handle the story.  Maybe I should have surfed for porn like everyone else instead.  Would’ve at least gotten something out of it then.

Resolution #4:  Watch more (shitty) television. I do not watch Sons of Anarchy.  I do not watch the walking dead.  Whenever I go places and meet people, they invariably talk about these silly sounding shows. So just to stay in conversations with people I like I may have to.  Because they don’t talk about much else.  Elitist fuckers. Maybe I should just try meeting a better brand of  biker zombie.

Resolution #5:  Stop being so judgmental.

Resolution #6:  Beat the shit out of at least one elected official.  The government is watching me, they surveil everyone, so why not get their attention by saying some crazy outlandish silly stupid bullshit.  This particular statement is not actually a resolution, I’m not the violent type per se, this is just me saying hello to the boys and girls down at homeland security.  This statement is meant to make at least one of those nosy fuck bastards earn at least one paycheck this year.  Lazy pricks.

Resolution #7:  Bring out the best in America.  Walk the width and breadth of this great land, and with a happy hearty smile, a twinkle in my eye, and a warm handshake, greet everyone regardless of lifestyle, circumstance or political stripe and wish them a happy day.  And hope they don’t beat the crap out of me for bothering them like that, because America don’t like that kinda thing any more.  They’re much more interested in their iPads, their stupid looking skinny jeans and this weeks latest uninformed political conspiracy.

File-ABouquetOfFloweryNewYearPostcardsFor1908Resolution #8:  Have sex.  I’m a married man. It can happen.

Resolution #9:  Spend at least one day this year where I do not look at a single screen.  Every day I spend hours and hours staring at either computer, tablet or television screens.  At the best of times most of it seems to be nothing more than vapid horse manure.  It maybe enjoyable watching all of it, but it isn’t exactly life enriching. Why not stop watching for a minute and see what happens?

Resolution #10:  Run.  For those of you who do not know, and that would be the entire population of the earth minus the few family and friends that care about such things, I am a runner.  What even these few do not know is that I have spent most of the last three months not running.  My running shoes are worn the hell out, my knees calves and hamstrings were worn the hell out, as was my lower back.  But the time off has done away with the physical issues, and if it were not for the shoes I would be back out there now. I’m going to be a runner again.  I promise.

Resolution #11:  Run for office.  OK, writing the things I wrote here kinda preclude my ever being able to do this one, but a man can dream, can’t he?

Resolution #12:  Fart in the bathtub while listening to patriotic music.  Might even fart the star spangled banner.  God bless America.  Doesn’t  freedom smell great?

Resolution #13:  Use the word “cliff” in a sentence without using the word “fiscal” in that same sentence.  Haven’t been able to all year.  I know I have it in me.  Well, I might… ummm…. crap.  We’ll see. I dunno about this one.

Resolution #14:  Use the name John Boehner in a sentence without using the words “douchebag”  “whiner” “Cry baby” or “stupid orange fuck” in the same sentence. Personally I’m not holding out much hope on this one, but I can try.

Resolution #15:  Stop.  Seriously.  Just stop.  In this constantly busy ever moving world, keeping things moving is about the most important thing aCharles_R._Knight_New_Years's_Card person can do. Busy equals strong most ways that are important as far as I see it. But no one can do it like that without a break.  So when things get too damn stressed, just put the brakes on.

Resolution # 16:  Tell the corporate world to go fuck itself… in such a way that they give me great heaving gobs of money to do it.  #Occupycomedy perhaps?

Resolution #17:  Be kind to strangers.  Because you can’t really get to loathe someone until you get to know them.

Resolution #18:  Start a Death Metal band.  Name it “Joe”  

Resolution #19: Don’t Die. I have this one on the list every year. So far, so good.

Resolution #20: Drink more alcohol. I have not had one single drink during all of 2012.  Not a single one.  Not bad for an alcoholic.  So technically having one beer would make this one a reality.  I think I can do it, without drinking so much that I almost crap my liver out the next morning.  Control is good.

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That’s it from here, America.  Gnight.

Nothing Much

Portrait of Charles and Georges Durand-Ruel, by Pierre Auguste Renoir

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While our art cannot, as we wish it could, save us from wars, privation, envy, greed, old age, or death, it can revitalize us amidst it all.

Ray Bradbury (1990)

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The first five minutes of the movie Le Regle du jeu (The Rules of the game) a 1939 movie by Jean Renoir.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.

A Series Of Images And Quotes

A woman as the Magdalen writing at a table in an interior, by Unknown

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Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.

George Orwell (1946)

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Adversity is not without it’s Comfort and Hopes, by Edith Mahier

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I had an interesting day’s reading yesterday, with the sudden sensaton of being in close contact with what I was reading. […] But as for reading how curious it is: all these books, their lore of the ages, waiting to be embraced but usually slipping out of one’s nerveless hands on to the floor. When one reads properly it is as if a third person is present.

E.M. Forster (1957)

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The Roman Architect, by Lawrence Alma-Tameda

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The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.

Bertrand Russell (1933)

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That’s it from here, America. G’night.

If You Can Call It That

Pic of the day:  Hermit Saints Triptych, by Hieronymus Bosch

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The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor’s edge invisible,
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen
Above the sense of sense; so sensible
Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.

William Shakespeare, Love’s Labour’s Lost, Act V, scene ii

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The Fiscal cliff will not destroy America, or it’s economy.  It is an austerity plan meant to be so austere (as I see it) to scare both sides to a more sane and rational fiscal plan.  And even if it does not pass immediately the most horrible things that are spoken of, all the damage to the GDP and unemployment and the like, will not come to pass simply because there is no bill passed to stand against the harshest effects of all that austerity.

The Milk cliff is not a cliff at all.  All it is, is the lack of passing of a bill meant to hold off the effects of a bill passed in 1949 that would double milk prices paid by the government.  When it is passed, late or on time, all will be fine.  Even if it takes some time to pass it will take time for any changes to the prices to take effect.  And there is no guarantee that prices would double even if changes would take effect.  Milk futures are not that high, and the market would not bear a doubling in milk prices.

These things do need to be worked on, and with haste, but if things are not passed to fix these things immediately the world will not end.

With all that said, I  hope they get something done before January 1, just to get it done. Something needs to be done to  save those who would be impacted immediately, like those who are already on extended unemployment benefits, who will lose that last financial lifeline come January 1st.

So it was somewhat disconcerting watching the house work today, if you can call it that.  I turned it on a few minutes after the session started.  This was 2:05 pm, and the session had started at 2:00 pm. I was thinking that the session was going to last quite a while, having much work to do.  Fiscal cliff.  Milk Cliff.  Probably a few other cliffs were there that we were going to jump off of if things didn’t get done in a week. Or so I thought.

I played idly with my 7 inch tablet.  I think I played a  few minutes worth of pinball or some gem game or something.  I thought I would have time to see them work on something.  I listened with half an ear to Steny Hoyer talkk about the work that had to be done.  I was thinking “Give’em hell Steny!”

And then after Steny finished his speech, I listened to a woman speak, I know not who she was, but I presume she was  some non elected official say something.  I do not remember exactly what she said, but I thought I heard her say something about senate business and mentioned Monday.  I found that curious.  So I stopped playing my game.  I got up and turned my attention to the television, to C-Span.  The chair, the man at the head of the house this day, an Ohio rep by the name of Steve LaTourette said something that caught me completely off guard.

He said something like this:  The house will  now adjourn pursuant to a previous special order, and the next meeting is scheduled for Monday December 31st at 2:00 pm.

My jaw hit the floor.  I looked at the TV with incredulity.  I spoke to the TV, and to congress “Ten minutes? That’s all?  That’s all your gonna give us, with a week left on this?  Are you serious?”

I am not amused.  The Republican house could have at least made it look like they were going to work on this.  On something.  Put some kind of effort in.  Pretend they give a shit at the very least.  I know that if these bills don’t pass the world won’t end, but dammit, it IS important.

The Republicans could’ve at least try to make it look like they cared.

But they didn’t.

Because they don’t.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.

A Single Thought

Pic of the day:  Peasant woman eating, by Vincent Van Gogh

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One wonders whether a generation that demands instant satisfaction of all its needs and instant solution of the world’s problems, to say the least will produce anything of lasting value. Such a generation, even when equipped with the most modern technology, will be essentially primitive — it will stand in awe of nature, and submit to the tutelage of medicine men.

Eric Hoffer, Reflections on the Human Condition (1973)

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Just a single thought tonight, as I get ready to call it a night, as I begin to prepare to celebrate Christmas eve.

There are millions across the globe who will go to bed hungry tonight.  13% of the worlds population is under-nourished.

Be thankful you have what you do.

Enjoy your Christmas Eve.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.