Washing Of The Lions


Pic of the day:  This child destroyed an entire subway line.  Isn’t he the cutest lil’ terrorist?  His parents should be proud!

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In school they told me “Practice makes perfect.” And then they told me “Nobody’s perfect,” so then I stopped practicing.

Steven Wright

“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

George Carlin

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Coolest thing ever.  Head over to google maps and check out the happy 8 bit NES style maps that are there for April fools day.   Just click on maps on the google main page and then look for the word “quest” in the upper right hand corner of the page.  Click and enjoy!  For added fun click on the little guy on top of the slider and place him somewhere on the map.  8 bit love is pretty, and just a little pixelated.

More fun than searching google for “Do A Barrel Roll.”

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I am sitting bathed in far too much light listening to someone  commentating on a motorcycle race somewhere in Japan.  I know this because the man is speaking in Japanese.  Why?  Beats me.  My wife has been flipping through channels on Ustream pretty much at random.  After watching two guys on horses moshing with a cow, we now have a Japanese Motorcycle race. Flip the channel and there is… Japanese people shooting darts!  At least there’s no commentary.  Or Rick Santorum.

Looking forwards to the cats and the penguins, at least they don’t yell indecipherably.  The Penguins sound like tiny elephants and the cats sleep at each other when they aren’t jumping on one another.

But I digress.

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Things to do on April Fools day: (note: don’t do any crazy shit and then blame me.  If your an asshole, it’s your fault, not mine.)

Go to the Syrian embassy, light a bag of dog-shit on fire, ring the doorbell, and run!  Classic mayhem!

Play drawception.

Drink a bottle of tequila and drive blindfolded down an interstate.  In reverse. Naked. With a trunk full of napalm.

Bring a banana cream pie with you to meet Mitt Romney.  Smack him in the face with it.  He LOVES that kind of thing.  He’s such a kidder!

Teach a fish to juggle.

Go for a run someplace you’ve never been before!  (R.I.P. Micah)

Sleep in.  It’s Sunday, dammit, you deserve a little bit of a break!   And when you’re done, occupy your toilet.

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Someday I’ll grow a sense of humor.  But I ain’t holding my breath waiting.

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That’s it from here, America.  G’night.


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