As the night slowly draws to a close, and the clock approaches midnight, I sit with a full stomach in a cool house on a warm New York night, contemplating life so far.
The evil that is in the world always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. On the whole men are more good than bad; that, however, isn’t the real point. But they are more or less ignorant, and it is this that we call vice or virtue; the most incorrigible vice being that of an ignorance…
Albert Camus, The Plague
So far the year has been a roller coaster,
I got my bankruptcy done, after not thinking it was ever going to happen, that may end up being the highlight of the year, if I don’t land a full time job, might even if I do land a full timer. Over $18,000 in debt that I was never going to be able to repay wiped away. My credit is in the shitter right now, but with no job, I can’t really help that, except to look for work and hope I land somewhere.
I’ve had 2 jobs.. no wait, 3 jobs. Three is the number. None lasting very long, none offering job security or medical and dental insurance, two of them being positive experiences, the people over at OCE were assholes, the ones that make the decisions there anyway. The people at Kravet and at Prompt Mailers were nothing but good professional people, and I would highly recommend their services to one and all.
My year has been the story of a busy man running in circles. I have sent hundreds of resumes out, tried to get everyone my résumé who looked like they might need someone with my many talents. That’s part of the reason I’ve had work at all. Kind of like running in circles. Send resume, send resume send another résumé, get hired, as a temp, work for a bit, finish assignment, send more resumes, get another temp gig, finish up, move on. It’s a big circle of not enough money.
And then there is the actual running in circles… Or more accurately figure 8’s. The path I run in the park is roughly a figure 8. I’ve probably run that figure 8 at least 400 times so far this year. I’ve run hills as well, and a fair bit of them, but the bulk of my 1000+ miles has been around that same 1.9 mile loop in the park. I’ve run it fast, I’ve run it slow, I’ve had to stop several times due to injury, and ignored pain and pushed more times than I care to admit.
I think I did a few push-ups and chin-ups too, or something that resembles them anyway. I don’t think anyone is impressed though. I know I’m not.
I’ve written less than I would like to, and the quality of that writing has dropped some during the year, but writing is something I have to do all the time to do it well, and I have had a number of layoffs, and plenty of times when the writing I did was rushed. More importantly the time I had to research my writing has been shortened by work and running and that has affected the quality of my writing a great deal. All excuses obviously, but they’re my excuses, about the only ones I have, and frankly I like them.
Unfortunately, my political writing has suffered the most. I’ve got to pick it up, got to do better there. That is the one place I least like to fail.
My guitar playing has been sporadic but excellent, if I do say so myself. Example; I picked up a guitar for the first time in 2 weeks last night, after my wife handed me a guitar when we were watching Stevie Ray Vaughn and Albert King on PBS last night. Jammed along for half an hour. Wife was surprised when I could keep up, jam along and play well with the pair. She knows Stevie Ray was, but had never heard of Albert. Blues like that I can play all night, and damn it is fun to play.
Most of my playing has been with the acoustic. Rare is the day that I play the electric.
I’ve had a good year, I think. Uncomfortably unemployed and broke for most of it, it leaves me wanting, but I have survived so far, with much help, for which I am eternally grateful. A job, a permanent job that has health insurance would be nice, but they don’t seem to make those here in America anymore.
So far my day has been fairly uneventful. Woke up late for me on a Sunday, call it 9:30 am, when I am usually up closer to 7. I went through the morning routine, then went running. Very humid out there today, and I wasn’t feeling 100%, just a hair out of it, sinuses were feeling like hell, so I cut the run short, only 7.6 miles. Came home, showered, had a sammich, and after a little while the less then 100% feeling got worse, so I went back into bed, hung out with the cat and my wife. Thought I’d just hang out and relax for a few minutes.
Slept for 2 more hours.
Very unlike me.
I whiled away the hours after that, looked for work but found nothing, exercised a bit, watched some baseball, watched some “This Week in Tech”, watched some bloomberg tv. I’ve had better days, but i’ve definitely had worse.
That’s it from here, America. G’night.