Today is dumbass day! I did not realize this early on, but then again, being a dumbass, it was clearly deemed information that should only be given on a “need to know” basis, and apparently I did not “need to know.”
Dumbass day is meant to celebrate all that is wrong with the world, like I said, but that doesn’t mean that Dumbass day is confined to just one day. This day is so dumb that it can be celebrated any day of the week, any time, ever! Because dumbass never takes a day off, it doesn’t know when to quit, or how to quit, and doesn’t care what you think about it, because it is Dumbass. Dumbass runs the world, dumbass is in control and it likes it.
Watch a viddy with Dumbasses:
Dumbass day is meant to celebrate stupidity and all that is wrong with the world. Which means the day is for a lot of people, but not necessarily everyone, so I’ve compiled a list of people dumbass day is for:
If you think people who complain that the wealthy pay too much taxes are idiots, this day is for you.
If you work in advertising and you like it, this day is for you. If you like TV shows like “Southern Fried Stings” or “Operation Repo” then this day is for you.
If you think that a 6 pack and a bag of Cheetos is a 7 course meal, then Dumbass day is your day.
If you watch TV to figure out how you feel about the political world, this day is for you.
If the last sentence made you wonder what the “political world” is, then this day is for you.
If you work twice as hard at what you do to make up for not knowing what you are doing, then this day is for you.
If you are a fan of Rebecca Black, then Dumbass day is your day.
If you think getting rid of Social Security is a good Idea, and you are poor, this day is for you.
If you thought the New York Rangers had a shot in hell of winning their series against the Capitals, this day is for you.
If you don’t know what that last sentence is about, then Dumbass day is your day.
If you believe sharia law has taken effect anywhere in the United States, the President was born in Kenya, or that tax cuts create jobs, this is your day!
If the most fun you have all day is playing Farmville, then happy Dumbass day to you!
If you love working in an office, HAPPY DUMBASS DAY!
If you think sports talk radio is even vaguely interesting, this is your day.
If you love where you live so much, you would never even think of living anywhere else, this day is for you!
If you have a favorite commercial, happy dumbass day to YOU!
If the best movie you ever saw has Pete Billingsley in it, Dumbass day is your day!
If you read this whole friggin Dumbass list and did not even smile once… You have shown some style and taste, and clearly means that this was tailor made for you, you DUMBASS!
Don’t forget to celebrate dumbass day by doing something in public that will brand you forever to your fellow dumbasses as THE BIGGEST DUMBASS EVER!