The Tooth Fairy.
The Easter Bunny.
Elections as a viable means of ensuring the will of the people will be heard and obeyed.
Commercials as anything but annoyingly stupid exercises in moving stupid people to do stupid things with their money and their tiny minds.
9/11 conspiracy theories.
Birther conspiracy theories.
Moon landing conspriacy theories.
ANY conspiracy theories.
Right wing political theories.
Game theory as a viable means to create policy.
Real world privacy.
The financial system.
Companies in the oil business.
People in the oil business.
The concern that American businesses have for the American people’s health and well being.
Coors. It’s not beer, it’s beer flavored water.
Starbucks. It’s not coffee, it’s crap flavored water with added caffeine.
Pat Robertson. He isn’t real. He does not exist.
John Boehner. He isn’t real. He’s a life sized 3-d animatronic howdy doody that got painted orange.
The positive power of the Republican party.
The positive power of the Democratic party.
The concept that the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.
Cats are clean animals.
People are on the whole nice and good.
People are on the whole nasty and evil.
People fit into neat categories.
That’s it from here, America. G’night.