To have peace with this peculiar life; to accept what we do not understand; to wait calmly for what awaits us, you have to be wiser than I am.
Today has been all about downtime, at least it feels that way. Probably because I didn’t wake up at 4:20am to run 5.82 miles. Or perhaps because I didn’t travel an hour and forty five minutes to the upper east side of Manhattan. Maybe it was because I didn’t show up in a locker room and get dressed in semi comfortable clothes and get ready to move furniture, or walls, or chairs at a job that I actually loved doing. That it feels like downtime isn’t a surprise. I am resting, though I am working hard looking for work.
Rest is a relative term.
I sent in 3 or 4 resumes, sent out feelers to several other places. I looked online in a great number of places at a great number of jobs before sending resumes to the places that I sent them to. I went to set up a fresh claim at unemployment, but found I didn’t have to, and merely let them know that I am back out of work and am still in fact on the old claim. That kind of surprised me, wasn’t expecting that at all. I also started an account at eBay. Nothing to do with work I know, but everything to do with money, which is what all this is about. I have a paypal account (my wife set it up a while ago) so I can now use Ebay and sell my baseball cards, records, and most of the other crap that I own that I don’t need.
Anyone interested in a 1964 Cleveland Indians rookie Tommy John? Maybe a 1959 Sandy Koufax card in excellent condition? 1951 Bowman Ralph Branca and Bobby Thompson cards? I got’em and I’m selling them.
I did run today, just not at 4:20 am, and not slow because the coffee hasn’t had a chance to run through my system yet. I ran over 8 miles on the hills today. Did 200 modified squat thrusts as well. Like I said, rest is relative. Sweat may not be restful, but it can quiet a restive heart that wants to do, but cannot, or isn’t being allowed to do that which it wants to do. I can use the pounding of my feet to drown out the noise of a world that gives me nothing of what I need and little more than pain and frustration and poverty, and promises me nothing but more of the same.
Enough of that. I got a lot done this day. Not everything that I wanted to, but much of what I needed to get done got done. I’m not happy that I still haven’t gotten that Christmas tree up yet, but that is less than 24 hours away. I’ll hit that tomorrow. Getting the ball rolling day one on the job front was the most pressing matter for me and I got that done, and I think I did it about as well as I could have.
Now it’s time to go sell some baseball cards.
Viddy of the day: Pink Floyd. Run like hell.
They had made the mistake of thinking of a personality as some sort of possession, like a suit of clothes, which a person wears. But apart from a personality what is there? Some bones and flesh. A collection of legal statistics, perhaps, but surely no person. The bones and flesh and legal statistics are the garments worn by the personality, not the other way around.
Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Go to sleep america, I’ve got nothing more.