When we know our own strength, we shall the better know what to undertake with hopes of success; and when we have well surveyed the powers of our own minds, and made some estimate what we may expect from them, we shall not be inclined either to sit still, and not set our thoughts on work at all, in despair of knowing anything; nor on the other side, question everything, and declaim all knowledge, because some things are not to be understood.

John Locke,  An Essay Concerning Human Understanding


Money and emotions go hand in hand, even if the emotions are not 100% trustable, they speak to me, and I hear. I have no choice but to listen.

There is a certain feeling I get sometimes.  It isn’t the prettiest emotion I have ever had, but it is a humbling one, and being humbled is something all people need at some point. It is a feeling of impotence in the face of events, a feeling that no matter how hard I work, It won’t be enough. I don’t welcome it, but I do accept it.  It has become, in part, the truth of my existence.  I could run as fast as the wind, go to work, lift a great many statues that weigh hundreds of pounds, move walls all day and night, and not a single one of those things will make me enough to live a life where I can pay for everything in life.

But I tell you I do not mind.  Sounds crazy, and maybe it is, but if what you get is small money for large work, and you have any bills, you know what I mean.  I could be the strongest man on earth and it would not make a difference.  That strength won’t pay the bills, my speed won’t take away any of the financial pressure that life brings, my endurance won’t lessen the burden of impending bankruptcy.

I am a man, I can take whatever the world throws at me, but sometimes it feels like hell.  I can take it, but there are moments where I wonder if taking it, of being able to take it, is worth it.  But then again what choice do I have?  None. 


Today’s viddy of the day.  This one about BP and the oil spill.


With all that I just said, I sometimes do need to take some time for myself.  And sometimes the world doesn’t want to give me any time.  This weekend is a prime example.  I am supposed to work tomorrow, sunday AND monday.  The entire day, 8:45 am to 5:30 pm, each day.  I have to pick up my race number and go food, I have clothes to do, and last minute race prep to do, and a race to run, all this three day weekend. 

Now, as much as I could probably blow off some of that, I will not.  I need a break.  My body is beat, and I mean BEAT.  I have soreness on top of soreness.  My fingers hurt, my chest is sore from lifting, my legs, used as they are to running and hard work, are in pain.  My feet are shot.  My hip isn’t 100%.  Mikey needs a rest, as much as I need the money, I also need the rest.  And since I didn’t sign up for that duty, I am simply taking these days off.  Technically these are not off days, these are extra days that were added on to my schedule, which I am allowed to take off if I so choose.

Normally I would work, but I am in need of rest, if for no other reason than I am in better shape for Monday’s race, and… gee, I dunno, Tuesday’s work… Sounds like a plan to me.  Off til Tuesday. 


All men are liable to error; and most men are, in many points, by passion or interest, under temptation to it.

John Locke, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding


 Pic and quote of the day:  To understand political power aright, and derive from it its original, we must consider what estate all men are naturally in, and that is, a state of perfect freedom to order their actions, and dispose of their possessions and persons as they think fit, within the bounds of the law of Nature, without asking leave or depending upon the will of any other man

John Locke, Second Treatise on Government


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