Bored and Silly

    Once upon a time there was a man.  He wasn’t a particularly smart man, or a strong one, or fast, or much good at anything,  and he would tell you that himself.  But he was curious.  He looked around himself and thought “why am I here, what is my purpose here?”  He could not come up with a good answer, so he thought about things.  The first thought he had was “why am I having this thought?”  Because I am curious, came the simple and obvious answer.  The next question was “What is purpose? what exactly am I searching for?  Purpose is a goal, some end wanted, he thought.

    But what is my goal in life? Survive and thrive?  Get the Girl? Make the world a better place? He wasn’t sure.  He knew he liked all 3 of those answers, but also knew that each was simply not enough.  Was there something that all of these things had in common? He thought about this for awhile, and decided that thought and movement might be an answer, but he wasn’t sure it was the answer.   Then he had another thought, what if there is no answer, no purpose, no goal.  “What if I am here,” he thought “simply because I am here, because my mother gave birth to me?”

      He thought about this for a while, and decided it had some merit, but it might not be the answer.  He looked around at his world, at himself, and asked the question again.  ” Why am I here?”  He thought.  He looked in a mirror and said “because if I was over there, I’d be someone else”  He giggled at this.  A silly thought.  Completely true, but silly nonetheless.  And he sank into thought again.  “Why am I here?” And no matter what he thought, he couldn’t come up with a straight answer.

    Then he realized something.  The question itself can only have a personal answer. “My purpose cannot be anyone else’s purpose” but it still didn’t answer his question.  He wondered again why he was thinking this, and couldn’t come up with a good answer.

    He began to get annoyed at the fact that the answers weren’t coming.  But he thought that if he kept thinking about it he must come up with some answer.  He wanted to have this question answered, just so he could get on with his life and do things.  He moved around a bit, and realized that his physical presence and his mental presence were connected, so since they are what he is, the answer must be there somewhere.  A mind body connection. 

      He just couldn’t come up with a real answer.  Then he realized that he was using the answer in this futile chase the entire time.  Curiosity.  Looking, thinking, striving, probing, trying.  But was that enough?… No.  dammit, “I thought I had it” he thought. 

     He had yet another thought.  Preservation of the species? Girls?  He liked this kind of answer, it was simple and it was fun, it involved sex at some point, and it beat the hell out of the endless circles he’d been thinking in recently. 

     He liked it,  but he realized that it was only a small part of the answer.  Maybe he was just here because he was here, so he said, why not just be happy doing what you need to do, and relax?

    Just be, and do what must be done.    Sounds like a plan, he thought.  Might be a bad answer and clearly insufficient, but a bad answer is better than no answer, and he can think more on it tomorrow he thought.


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