It is a little after 9:00pm as I write this. The room is illuminated by the dim Christmas lights that I have hanging from the walls in a somewhat haphazard fashion, in some places in a relatively straight line, and in others sort of hanging off angle, hopefully showing not so much a lack of care on my part hanging them as a general tiredness on my part when I hung them. Hopefully, an air of “the hell with it” does not pervade the area, so much as an air of “a nap would be nice right about now” does.
To be serious, though…
I am listening to the happily relaxed tones of J.S. Bach in a semi-darkened room while looking at the aforementioned lights and thinking to myself that a person without a job has, perhaps, too much time to think about both the good and the bad in his life. I have a lot of good, and a lot of bad. Nothing earth shattering in either direction, I’m not narcissist enough to think that anything I feel or can feel is that powerful in the world, but it moves me.
The good: I have a wife that loves me, a roof over my head, warmth and comfort when I need it, the tools to get a job, and the capacity to take the lack of a job. I get all the food I need, for me and my wife and the cats, and eat all I want. A sunny disposition to fight off the ill effects of a string of bad luck that seems to stretch to the horizon behind me. A realistic enough viewpoint to understand that that sunny disposition will not be enough to get me through to a brighter horizon ahead. A strong work ethic.
The bad: No job, no money. No prospects for either. The possibility of losing that roof over my head in a few months if things don’t get better soon. Anger over my circumstances that occasionally overwhelms me.
The good outweighs the bad, but there are days where the bad is all that seems to be there. They don’t happen often, but they happen.
I hate government imposition on the people, and yet I am for the government itself, despite it’s imposition. I loathe business imposition on the populace, yet I seek with my every breath to join them and make a buck myself. I think the economic system in this nation is in shambles, and yet I seek to add my efforts to help it’s furtherance. I do what I can to shun attention at every point, and yet here I am writing what is a daily journal for all the world to see. I crave independence, but need my wife and my family and all the people I have grown to depend on everyday. I enjoy working hard in all things, yet find myself idle for great stretched of time, and don’t really mind. I love the dark, but need the light. I love the cold, but need warmth.
Does that make me contrarian, silly, normal, weird or something else?
I have been thinking about trying to write down my political philosophy in as concise and as strong a way as possible, but I’m not 100% sure I really want to. Every political philosophy I have ever seen or heard of is flawed in some way, and anything I would write here or anywhere else to be honest would much more flawed than most. I am not the educated, scholarly type, and feel like I just don’t know enough about the subject to do any justice to the concept of political philosophy. And while I don’t mind making an ass out of myself, it would be nice to avoid it here at the very least.
I have read treatises far and wide, from a great many viewpoints, and none quite states for me precisely what I think. I’ve read portions of the communist manifesto, and there are some very good points in there, but there is also much more than a fair bit of nutjob there as well. I’ve read Ayn Rand, and she is a screaming fruitcake from one end of the spectrum to the other. And if these people and others like them, superior to me in both breadth and depth of knowledge, can’t put something coherent and intelligent together, what chance have I?
Perhaps another day… perhaps.
The real problem with the American Health care system is dealt with in this viddy.
Today’s Nuggets, by John Locke, via wikiquote: …One may truly say, that there are very few lovers of truth, for truth’s sake, even amongst those who persuade themselves that they are so. How a man may know whether he be so in earnest, is worth inquiry: and I think there is one unerring mark of it, viz. The not entertaining any proposition with greater assurance than the proofs it is built upon will warrant. Whoever goes beyond this measure of assent, it is plain receives not the truth in the love of it; loves not truth for truth’s sake, but for some other bye-end.
False and doubtful positions, relied upon as unquestionable maxims, keep those who build on them in the dark from truth. Such are usually the prejudices imbibed from education, party, reverence, fashion interest, et cetera.