Reindeer Droppings


    I’ve had a pretty long day.  A good one but a long one.   I got back from the Family Christmas party a while ago, and I tell ya, it took a lot out of me.  And I wasn’t playing around with the kids as much as I usually do, so I don’t have that as an excuse.  I did hurl my little brothers son around the place a few times…well, not hurl per se, more hold the boy and run back and forth with him pretending like he was flying.  Flying into walls, well almost into walls, as well as flying into other people, and generally tossing the boy around like a sack of potatoes.  He was a giggling mess, I was as well, twas cool.

    To go back in time a bit, I woke up early, before 9,  after getting to sleep late, after 3.  I was up making chili, helping my wife make “Italian cookies”, ya know, breaking eggs on my forehead, punching the dough for the cookies so you could see a clear fist print in it, while making with the Bruce Lee sound effects (and yes my hands were clean, I may be a nut, but I’m not a dirt-bag) and other such joyfully weird things. 

     The chili I made was not very hot this year, not the 5 alarm, nasal passage clearing, taste bud destroying, hemorrhoid inducing psycho death chili that I normally make.  It was actually almost exactly Wendy’s knock off chili.  Ya know, 2 meats, pinto beans (which is where much of the flavor comes from), a few tomatoes, a few onions and some garlic, some jalapenos.  Brown the meat, drain, add the other ingredients + one cup of water, simmer for 45 minutes and yer done.  Easy. 

    The cookies took longer to make, just because we made 8 cookie sheets worth, and it takes ten minutes per sheet + prep time.  But it’s worth it, those f****** cookies are delicious.

    Like I said, doing all that took til 3 am. Set the alarm for 9.  Woke up a few times during the night, thanks to cats taking covers and space.  Woke up groggy, made the coffee, fed the cats, turned on the computer, looked for a job for a few minutes, played a few games, woke up the wife, and headed out to help prep the hall.

   Woke her up too late because I got caught up playing games on the computer.  Didn’t realize I had let that much time slip.  Silly husband, games are for kids.  Read some news next time, jackass.  LOL

    I walked down, carrying my chili.  It’s maybe a half a mile, and only takes a few minutes to walk, and it wasn’t too bad out.  When I got there, I was surprised to find that no one else from the family was there.  I had beaten everyone there.  Kewl.  Waited a few minutes, and My mom and dad showed up followed shortly after that by my younger brother and his wife. We put down table cloths, put out dip, blew up balloons, gave food, sterno, utensils, plates and other such amenities to the guys at the hall, ya know, set-up.  Blowing up the balloons actually took up the most time.   I am apparently slow at this, and it was my job to blow up, tie, then attach to string the balloons.  Everyone ended up pitching in, and everything got done relatively quick. 

    At about this point in the proceedings I got an offer to go to a skate with the Rangers for tomorrow, a meet and greet kinda thing and I turned it down. I should have said yes.  I didn’t.  I have clothes to wash tomorrow.  Not a real reason, you say?  I need to wash my best work clothes, which I wore this week to two interviews, and want clean just in case more interviews come my way this week.  Job stuff comes first.  Work before pleasure, first, last and always.

     Plus, my skating skills are nearly nil, and I would be hella embarrassed to have to have my wife pull my stupid ass off of the stupid ice every other minute with every single New F****** York Ranger on the team watching me fall on my ass and giggling at my stupid ass. 

   If I want strangers to laugh at me in public, I’ll go on a f****** reality TV show.  But I digress…

    After this, I picked up the wife, with cookies and XM receiver in tow, and got down to the serious business of relaxing with family. Relaxed and social. Me.  No, really, me.  Serious!  Twas fun, truly.   A ton of different conversations that I will not repeat here. If your family you know what happened, if your not, you don’t need to know.  ‘Nuff said.

    We sang Christmas carols, badly, especially me.  I was loud, happily loud, off key, and generally just slightly off time.   Loud is just what I do, loud worked there so I go with it, off key isn’t what I aim for, but with my voice too deep for the highs and not deep enough for the lows kinda gives me no choice in the matter there.  The timing i do on purpose, I time it the way i think it’s supposed to sound, with the proper syncopation, at least what I think is proper syncopation, not just singing with the crowd of family who are always metronome steady.  That’s just me. 

    The twelve days of Christmas is just us Jumping around screaming like banshees and generally having a fun.  A big fun. 

    One disappointment for me this year.  Every year, until this year, we’ve sung “O Come All Ye Faithful” Including the Latin versus (adeste fideles)  I am about the only person who knows the Latin on this one, me and a few aunts and uncles.  I was ready to go.  No go this year though. 

    Ah well.  No worries, I can sing it here to my wife.  I think the marriage will survive it.  🙂

    Had the annual guess, in which one aunt, the same aunt every year (she’s cool, we’re cool, it’s cool, just not naming names) buys something, writes out a few hints as to what it might be and then we have to try to guess what it is.  If several people guess, those names are put in a hat and one winner is drawn (been a while since that happened) If no one guesses all the adults pay and a name is pulled at random and random drawn name wins (as I recall) Rarely is there one winner, when there is one (again, as I recall).   This year, I had no idea, not an original one, so i put down one that I knew was wrong, just to have my name in the hat.  I believe it was  “A festive assortment of holiday cheeses and meats.”

   No one gets my crappy jokes… which is why i rarely tell them.  🙂

Santa invades Japan

    ANYWAY… to make a long story even longer, there aren’t too many people who have pulled off more than one win.  I have won once, in a family tradition that spans the length of my entire life, where I have been guessing at this since 1985.  My wife won the first year she did it, she won a bike. She couldn’t use it, because she was living in Boston at the time and we couldn’t ship it, too expensive so we kept it here.  Guess who won this year.

    My wife.   And what is the gift? A nativity scene, an actual, large outdoor nativity scene.  Too bad we live in an apartment.  What we are doing with it is this.  This year my younger brother is going to have it on his front lawn.  I floated the idea, and my wife accepted, that we can do a draw to see who gets to have it on their lawn next year.

     There was a moment of stupid from me regarding this happy nativity scene, but i will not tell that story here. 

    Food we ate early, and I ate as much as I could(didn’t write about it because me getting fat seems uneventful).  Had about 2345987324 pounds of food. Chili.  Pasta.  Meatballs.  Turkey. Stuffing.  Potatoes.  NOMS, MANY NOMS!   Big FAT rhino now! FAT! Happily fat!  Gonna have to start running again soon, or else there gonna have to roll me to the f****** park.  LOL.   But i digress…

  We had coffee.  We had cookies and other assorted pastries.  We packed up and we left, fat and happy after the annual Christmas party.

   A long, but happy day.  Hope, you all had fun, I did.

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